We created this page for you to leave your story about how you suffered through different types of workplace verbal abuse in the past or maybe you are going through it right now.
Leave your brief story in the comments box and please, we dont need the names of the abusers or the company you either are or were working for. This is a public site so please don’t use vulgar language or else we may not approve your story. If you would like to remain anonomous, that’s fine too. We will try to answer any and all questions that you bring to us in a timely fashion right here on this website.
#1 by Daryl on November 14, 2009 - 3:04 pm
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Hi Judith. I loved your websites and the information you provide to help stop bullying in the workplace. I have a question. I have a friend who has a supervisor who constantly cusses him out. He is afraid to go the general manager and human resource dept. because he is afraid of getting fired. The general manager knows that this supervisor cusses out his subordinates but he refuses to do something about it. What can my friend do? Thanks for your wisdom and insight.
Daryl
#2 by Judith on November 14, 2009 - 4:22 pm
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Hi Daryl,
Thank you for the kind words. Let’s get to your friends problem. If the boss is aware that this supervisor is cussing not only your friend out but others also, then he is probably fearful of losing his job. The supervisor is making his boss look good by performing for the company and increasing the profit margin. Your friend might want to take a look at the policies and procedures created by the company and see if addresses, foul language etc. If it does, then he can use that information to take action through either the CEO or HR in order to get this type of behavior stopped. It’s such a shame that people resort to cussing instead of communicating with each other.
Good luck and God Bless
#3 by Yvonne on March 20, 2010 - 12:32 pm
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I work for a small insurance agency with only the owner and another part timer, who has been with him for over 30 years. I have been there for 6 years. He is an over the top irrational owner, who screams all the time, calls me and his clients idiots, morons and that we are stupid plus the foul language. When I first started I was working full time but with the bad economy he laid off the other girls and kept me there to do all the work. The reason he kept me was because I handled all personal lines and write all new business. With the amount of work I had to contend with and his screaming and belittling I couldn’t take it anymore and told him I was going to start working part time. Now I work only 3 days a week. I am a very easy person to work with and get along with and the majority of our customers have stayed with him because of the attention I give them. I am an intelligent person who can produce and has made him money. I don’t know what to do with him anymore. Yesterday I was called an idiot and stupid and this time it really hit me. I would change jobs in a flash if the economy wasn’t so bad. Unfortunately, I have one more thing going against me and that is I am 63. He realizes that I can’t go anywhere right now. I honestly feel that he feels there is nothing wrong with his behavoir. What can I do? I can’t quit because I am self supporting. As is, I went from 700.00 to 265.00 a week. The other girls doesn’t say anything because she says that’s way he is.
#4 by Yvonne on May 6, 2010 - 3:54 pm
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5/6/2010 He is at it again. Was screaming at me to a point where I yelled back. He said he didn’t need my attitude and he could or would fire me. I was only asking a question about saving an account that was cancelled. I just don’t know what to do anymore…These are notes to keep track of what is going on.
#5 by Kat on December 23, 2010 - 5:16 pm
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Hi, I need advice. My boyfriend has always been alittle slow. When he was in high school, he was in LD “learning disability” classes. He has lived with my family and myself for over three years. Just under a year ago my step-father was able to get my boyfriend a job at the car dealership that my step-dad is a service manager at. Pretty much since the first week he started there most of the employees have been picking on him. It started off small and insignificant, kind of like they were joking around. Over the time that he’s worked there, there have been 3 reported cases of vandilism to his vehicle. Only once did someone fess up to it and said it was “just a joke”. My boyfriend is very protective of his car because it’s brand new and is the first one he purchased by himself. Everyday he gets called things like, “idiot” “moron” “retard” “faggot” “homo” “Gayson” (because his name is Jason) “service bitch” “cry baby” etc.. sadly Jason, my boyfriend, works under my step-father and even he pokes fun at him. Jason has confronted everyone many times that he doesnt appreciate the comments. Jason has even confront my step-father, as have I. I have stated to him that it is completely improper in the work environment. I was told that Jason just needs to learn how to take a joke. The comments are demeaning, inappropriate, uncalled for, and simply just horrible. There has also been many reported cases (everything is always reported to the General Manager who is above my step-father) of cruel tricks and set ups being played on Jason. For instance, today one of the employees told Jason the directions on how to get some where. The employee stated “just take a left on this road, a left on that one, and you’ll be there.” Only for Jason to find out 1 hour later that he needed to turn right on the first road. By the time he arrived back at the dealership, people were yelling and commenting rude remarks such as “Hey retard! You got lost, ya idiot! You’re such a “#@&#@&” moron!” among many, many more. I have done everything I can think to do. I dont think it’s fair for him to be attacked like that. Imagine for a minute, you getting made fun of by all your coworkers and your boss and everytime you try to help the situation everyone just does it more. Jason has been told many times that he shouldnt work there anymore by the people who attack him. Please help me come up with a solution. The next step that Jason was going to do was to talk to the dealership owner. I know that even he doesnt care because he is a money hungry jerk. Is there a way to put an end to this??
#6 by Yvonne on December 31, 2010 - 6:39 am
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No one has to take bullying, insulting or cruelty in a workplace. Without loosing his cool he has to approach a higher up and advise them of what is going on with the other employees. We have to stop this not by lowing ourselves to their levels but raise ourselves above it. I don’t know how people are being brought up but I believe it began then with these bullys. Maybe he should start looking for another job. The most important thing is always to document what is going on with the other workers and after talking to the owner, if things don’t change he should talk to the state human rights office and file a complaint. I am still working in a very hostile environment and two weeks ago the owner was asked to complete information about my work history by an attorney because of a suit I have pending on a slip & fall. He did it but half ass and was told to give them a complete history or else they were going to hold him in contempt he came to me screaming and swearing and using the 4 letter word and threatning to get a gun and use it. I picked up the phone and call my attorney and advise them if anything happened this is what happened. This has been on going anger with him. I would leave but I am 64 and in the state of Rhode Island jobs are scarce. I have stood up for my rights and he does know where I stand and that I will file charges if this happens again. Tell “J” to leave. He doesn’t have to take this from anyone. The laws aren’t always here to protect us until somethings happens. I wish age was on my side.
#7 by Karla on March 22, 2011 - 9:09 am
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I can’t believe how cruel people can be. I am bullied and have always been bullied ever since I came here. The worst thing is that I don’t even know why! Nobody has ever physically hurt me, but they tease me and call me names like slut, nerd, B&;#$ch, and A LOT of other names. And I’ve never done anything that they said I’ve done. Its getting worse now that I’ve made the Calera Middle Dance Team. They say that I only got on the Dance team because the coach felt sorry for me and that I shouldn’t be on the dance team. They also say I’m good 4 nothing
#8 by Tracy on May 20, 2011 - 3:45 am
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Just gave birth to a lovely daughter, now I’m back to work. There was a Posting for a new position the hours was great I applied and got the it. WELL! I walked in to a department from Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. The stress in this department is so high I joined a gym so I wouldn’t take it out on my innocent children or my self. This department is comprised of a bully, A blame shifter, A Foreman who is afraid of the bully so everything that goes wrong is directed to me. The Pay is excellent I’m able to provide.
I’ve talked to my general Forman, Shop Stewart and there is no justice, The economy sucks and I’m a mother I couldn’t live with my self getting someone fired. Nobody cares. The world is soooooooo up side down all the A–HOLES are at the top the GOOD and caring people are at the bottom. Thanks Judith for giving me this outlet.
#9 by Cindy on July 1, 2011 - 10:24 am
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Submitted on 2011/06/21 at 4:16 pm
I feel I am being discriminated against at my workplace. I have been told several times, by management, that I am not fit to hold the job title that I hold, (which is Front end Manager at a grocery store), because I haven’t improved any results that need to be improved. I have been told (and it has been confirmed) that Upper management asked my equal to write durogatory infomation about me, so they could get rid of me, but, my equal told them no and they blindsided her and transferred her to another store. So, now they are after me. What can I do?
#10 by Judith on July 1, 2011 - 10:28 am
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Submitted on 2011/06/21 at 10:19 pm | In reply to Cindy.
Hi Cindy,
I am sorry you are experiencing this treatment. Did you ask for training in the areas they wanted you to improve in? Did they provide it for you? I’m sorry your equal was put in a difficult spot by management by asking her to write derogatory statements about you. That was not professional on their part. There are several more questions I would like to ask you. Could you email me please, at judith_munson@yahoo.com if you would like to continue this conversation? What you might do in the meantime is to go to http://www.workplaceintimidation.com and order the book, “Alligators in the Water Cooler, A Guide to Identifying Bullies & Their Buddies in the Workplace.” There are a lot of stories and solutions from others that may help.
Warmly,
Judith
#11 by Susan on July 1, 2011 - 10:33 am
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Submitted on 2011/02/05 at 2:19 am
A high-ranking officer of the company I work for called me a ‘whoosie’ because there was a 70% chance of snow in our area that evening in our area and if the school district was closed, I was taking work home since it wouldn’t be safe to drive to work the next day. After he said ‘whoosie’ he immediately said, “I’m sorry–I didn’t mean that” as he laughed about it. Is this a form of intimidation? If he wasn’t thinking something negative about me, why would he have said that? If he didn’t mean it as he claimed, what did he really mean? Any insight you could give would be appreciated. I was stunned when he said it and did a nervous giggle and walked away.
#12 by Cheryl on July 1, 2011 - 10:34 am
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Submitted on 2010/05/26 at 3:21 am
My problem is about my husband and his job. He is a state worker and is on a standard 6 month probation. He got hired off the street for a level 3 job and the other works who never applied for this job in the first place are now resentful towards him for getting this job without coming up through the ranks. His lead tech and about 6 out of the 11 crew are belittling him, shunning him and saying vular things to him and behind his back. His lead is constantly belittling him. And everytime something happens there he comes to my husband and blames him for it and when the lead finds out that it wasn’t him he doesn’t talk to the other person he just drops it. They just hired a guy and he was told by these bullies to do the same so this kid is bad mouthing him and he doesn’t even know my husband. My husband talks to me about what is going on and does not confront anyone of these coworkers but he is getting depressed and agitated by this situtation and with this economy it is hard to find a new job. Any advice, He is scared to go to his supervisor, he doesn’t want to get fired but he thinks his coworkers are trying to get him fired and/or drive him out so they can apply for his position. The main supervisor was told about this along time ago when it first started and he told them to get along, he doesn’t want to hear about it.
#13 by Nike on July 1, 2011 - 10:35 am
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Submitted on 2009/10/12 at 9:54 pm
for over three years things have not being the same in my workplace. i have going through intimidation and psychological abuses which is now affecting my health both physically and emotional.
#14 by Sammie on July 1, 2011 - 10:36 am
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Submitted on 2009/08/12 at 8:16 am
i have been given a written warning for having sick days. i have toncilitus that is complicated with a virus. i am now on my 5th lot of antibiotics and still sick. have gone to the hospital and now waiting further treatment. in the meantime my store manager is writing me up and threatening to take my hours away from me if i have anymore sickies. i am a single mum of 2 trying to pay off a house and keep my kids in good health. the stress from the manager is making my health worse. i cant sleep and i work nightshift fulltime. i had saturday night off and gave them a certificate from the hospital. the manager is now having a meeting with me tonight. no doubt to carry out her threat. that means i cant afford to pay off my house and look after my children. how is it that a big company like safeway can let this happen?
#15 by Judith on July 1, 2011 - 10:38 am
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Submitted on 2009/11/14 at 10:53 pm | In reply to sammie janson.
Hi Sammie,
My apologies for not getting back to you sooner on this problem. I’m not sure what has taken place since you wrote, but I do remember you were to have a meeting with your manager that evening. I hope everything worked out in your favor at that meeting.
If not……
have you checked with HR on what the policies are with this company on extenuating circumstances with illness? Sometimes there is a leave of absence you can take for several weeks with a doctors prescription for it, without losing your job. You would still have a job, but maybe not the same one when you return. I can’t stress enough that our health is of up most priority. If you are sick you can’t do your best at work and if you work while you’re sick, you don’t have a chance to heal. It can be a vicious circle we put ourselves in. Good luck!
#16 by Judith on July 1, 2011 - 10:38 am
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Submitted on 2009/11/14 at 11:07 pm | In reply to Nike.
Hi Nike,
Going to work should not be a painful experience. When there is intimidation and psychological abuse taking place it’s time to re-evaluate what is important in your life; your health or the people you work with. Has this been reported to anyone? What has the outcome been? If you have done everything in your power to resolve this you might think about leaving. Sometimes a change in careers is just what is needed to help you find a different perspective in your life. Change is a good thing. Remember none of this abuse was caused by something you did or did not do. You are the target here. Good luck!
#17 by Judith on July 1, 2011 - 10:39 am
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Submitted on 2011/02/08 at 1:33 am | In reply to Susan.
Hi Susan,
In answer to your questions, is this a form of intmidation?
I don’t believe that his man intended his comment to be intimidating, however his choice of words was very poor. Calling you a “whoosie” because you were taking work home in case the snow storm prevented you from going to work the next day was uncalled for. If he is a high-ranking officer of the company, he should have commended you for taking enough interest to continue to work from home.
I’m glad he apologized. His nervous giggle or laugh is an indication of his embarassment of what he said.
Your being stunned at what he said tells me that this is not normal behavior or every day behavior for this person. Now ,if he exhibited this behavior on a daily basis and called you other names or threatened your job in some way and did this in front of others, then I would say he’s intimidating you. Intimidation is a form of bullying and when done consistently over a long period of time, can and does lead to physical illness, mental breakdown and low productivity of a target in the company.
I wish you well.
Judith
#18 by ERICKA RODULFO on August 26, 2011 - 6:50 pm
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Hello , well i have been with my company for 14 years, i am a server ,assi ,managment you name it i do it all!. Everything was ok till my bosses brother came aboard to the restaurant 1 year ago, he talks down to me calls me names racial names as well ,i’m hispanic he is alway treathing to fire me wich i wish he would i have never gotten a write up in the 14 years i been with the company , never called in or miss work . my husband was sent to prision for 10 years so i became a single parent and it is hard in this economy. he has even trown butter from the trash can to my face and used foul language. half of the staff have resign because of him he is arrogant and mean yells at me the most and i’m always his target. please guide me to what steps to take . i have no answer to my problem.
#19 by Judith on August 27, 2011 - 12:08 pm
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Hi Ericka,
You are in one tough position in this situation with your job. I’m sorry this is happening to you.
One of the concerns I have is your health and how you are holding up under this treatment from this man. You have a family to consider and if your health suffers so do they. Does that make sense?
Have you tried talking to this man about why he’s doing this? Does he think you’ve offended him in some way and this is his way of payback? He may feel that you think you are superior to him and he’s not liking how that feels. I’m not saying you have demonstrated any behavior like that, but sometimes bullies feel others think they are superior to them and therefore they become hostitle.
Have you taken this to your boss? I know it’s the boss’s brother causing this turmoil, but he should still hear it from one of his employees. You did mention that over half the staff have left because of him which I’m surprised the boss hasn’t done anything yet.
Your choices are clear: Stay and wait until you’re fired by him or find a new job. A bully is not someone who is willing to change. Please think about your health.
Warmly,
Judith
#20 by Paula on September 3, 2011 - 10:31 am
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I own and run a small business. My most talented employee treats without repsect, uses foul language, speaks poorly of me to others and has a drinking problem. His talent and ability to make my business thrive is substantial! I know I should get rid of him, but I don’t think I could keep my business thriving without him. He also sends sexually inappropriate e-mails to me. Any ideas?
#21 by Judith on September 4, 2011 - 12:40 pm
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Hi Paula,
No one is indispensable, even if you think he’s the only one who can make your business thrive.
My suggestion is simple: Confront him and tell him his behavior is unacceptable and if it continues he’ll be terminated. Keep in mind that even though workplace bullying is not illegal, sexual harassment is and he could be charged.
Warmly,
Judith
#22 by Monique on October 2, 2011 - 11:48 pm
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I had suffered verbal abuse from a boy that I know from high school this is my story:
I want to dedicate my story to all the young girls out there struggling with their self-esteem.
When I was in middle school I used to get teased a lot about my face because I had really bad acne. And when I got to high school the teasing continued. There was a guy at my school who verbally abused me every chance he got. He and I took Health and PE together and sometimes he would tease me in front of the entire class. He teased me during lunch too. He had bullied me about my weight, my acne, and called me any insulting name he could think of….things like “ugly fat b**ch.
One day after school he had followed me home and started verbally abusing me again. As soon as I got home I started crying. My mom came home and asked me what happened, and I told her. She told me that I needed to do something about the teasing.
I decided to file a formal complain against him at my school. He got sent to the Dean’s office and was forced to apologize to me. The dean wanted to suspend him for the rest of the school year. I told the Dean that suspending he wasn’t necessary, I just wanted him to leave me alone and stop teasing me.’’
I had low self-esteem and insecurity issues about my weight. I felt that I wasn’t pretty enough and no guy would ever want to talk to a fat, ugly, girl like me. I was so surprised that a few guys even liked me in high school. I kept everything inside and never showed my emotions to my friends or anyone. Being depressed, I would come home and cry myself to sleep a lot.
Even though he did finally leave me alone, it didn’t change the fact that he had really hurt me emotionally and mentally. Because of the things he said, I felt he had taken away all my self-respect, dignity, and my pride. Whenever a guy gave me a compliment I wasn’t sure if he really meant it or if he was just saying it as a joke. It took me up to my senior year of high school to get my self-esteem back after what he did to me.
As I got older, I have learned that whenever a person teases another person, it’s because they don’t like themselves so they are trying to feel better by bring someone else down. What they don’t realize is that they are hurting themselves more than they are hurting another person’s feelings. I have learned that I can’t please everyone and I have to please myself.
My mom and sister had always told me that I was not ugly. They told me that I was a pretty girl, to just be who I am, and always keep GOD in my heart. Now that I am older I finally realized what they were telling me is true. I have forgiven him for what he did to me in high school. I finally realize that I am a beautiful woman inside and out. I am strong and I accept myself for who I am. I have put the past behind me and I am moving on with my life.
If you’re a younger girl reading this, here is my advice to you. Always love yourself, just be who you are, always keep GOD in your heart and never let anyone take your self respect away from you.
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#23 by titus on December 2, 2011 - 6:24 pm
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I have started to wonder about whether or not I’m experiencing verbal abuse. The situation is like this. I work for a small company and I work nights, so it is only me and one other person that is ever on the job site. Everyone else I click with fine but one guy is constantly saying I’m a liar and that I’m doing things wrong, when I know for a flact I’m doing them right. He talks bad behind my back to my super telling him unsubstantiated lies that have got me wrote up and has put me on the verge of termination. I don’t know if this could be qualified as abuse or slander any advise would be fantastic thank you.
#24 by joyce on January 19, 2012 - 10:01 pm
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We had finished a surgery I announced the finish time as we always do and the anes doctor decided to tell me how he thought people around here cared more about time then caring for their patients. I stated well i don’t feel that way. We went on to interview the next patient as we finished and he was waking away i asked if he was ready he be came visibly angry and stated what do you think I have been doing? I just got finished with the last pt joyce! we walked out of the pt area and he continued talking with a raised voice “WHAT DO YOU THINK I HAVE BEEN DOING ITS ONLY BEEN 10 MINUTES YOUR RUSHING” ME! I went in to the
next or suite and began to set up the room along with the scrub tech. the doctor followed a few minutes later and again started to discuss how I had rushed him and that this wasn’t the first time and he didn’t like it, this was all in front of the scrub tech. I told him lets just drop it and that i was sorry since I didn’t know what else to say I thought this may stop him, even though asking if you’ve finished the case and well I was at the front desk he came he apologized while passing by for being so snippy. As I was getting up to leave the desk area he came around to the opening and began to tell me that he had a lot of things to check inbetween pt to make sure his machines are safe for the next pt. I then told him all I asked was if he was ready! He said i know! I told him i would ask differently next time asking how much time you need between this case. He said fine and walked off to the locker rooms. I left that night in tears, but no tears in front of him. I was confused hurt and upset and alone. I have taken the last two days off and I am feeling stressed about going back to work, because if asking him if he is ready sets him off unexceptly what will happen next time. I was alone with him at the desk.