Comments for Workplace Verbal Abuse http://workplaceverbalabuse.com "Don't Let a Bully Rob You of the Joy in Your Life" Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:54:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Your Stories by Judith http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/your-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-1015 Judith Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:54:32 +0000 http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/?page_id=35#comment-1015 Hi Cristal, It's really tough going to a job you hate because of the boss. It makes it very uncomfortable for you and believe it or not, it makes it uncomfortable for your co-workers also. You mentioned your boss is the owner of the company along with being your supervisor, so there is no one higher up to take this to. My suggestions would be: document everything...no matter what and take the documentation home with you every night. Go back in the past as far as you can and write down when things took place, who was around that might have heard her abusing you, date, time and what was said. The reason I say this is because it will show that you are and have been being abused in the past and currently. If you have seen your family doctor or even a psychologist for stress related to this job, you can always request your medical records as that is also a form of documentation and proof. Has your doctor prescribed any medication for you to help you deal with the stress and abuse? Any form of documentation is imperative. If you ever have to go to court or need to prove any of this, you'll have your documentation. If witnesses are willing to say what they've seen and heard and to document it also, that makes for a stronger case. Naming what she is doing to you and probably a lot of others is important. She is bullying you and it's not your fault. If you quit this job, you probably won't be able to file for unemployment. If you get fired, you can. I don't know where you live, meaning what state, but I would check into the unemployment laws where you live just to be sure. Your health both physically and mentally are more important than any job. I would start looking for another job. The best time to find a new job is while you are working. My best to you. Warmly, Judith Hi Cristal,

It’s really tough going to a job you hate because of the boss. It makes it very uncomfortable for you and believe it or not, it makes it uncomfortable for your co-workers also. You mentioned your boss is the owner of the company along with being your supervisor, so there is no one higher up to take this to.

My suggestions would be: document everything…no matter what and take the documentation home with you every night. Go back in the past as far as you can and write down when things took place, who was around that might have heard her abusing you, date, time and what was said. The reason I say this is because it will show that you are and have been being abused in the past and currently. If you have seen your family doctor or even a psychologist for stress related to this job, you can always request your medical records as that is also a form of documentation and proof. Has your doctor prescribed any medication for you to help you deal with the stress and abuse? Any form of documentation is imperative. If you ever have to go to court or need to prove any of this, you’ll have your documentation. If witnesses are willing to say what they’ve seen and heard and to document it also, that makes for a stronger case.

Naming what she is doing to you and probably a lot of others is important. She is bullying you and it’s not your fault. If you quit this job, you probably won’t be able to file for unemployment. If you get fired, you can. I don’t know where you live, meaning what state, but I would check into the unemployment laws where you live just to be sure.

Your health both physically and mentally are more important than any job. I would start looking for another job. The best time to find a new job is while you are working.

My best to you.

Warmly,
Judith

]]> Comment on Your Stories by cristal http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/your-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-1014 cristal Sat, 07 Apr 2012 06:48:16 +0000 http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/?page_id=35#comment-1014 Hi, I am going through a tough time right now. I work for an education company, my boss is the owner of the company and our supervisor. My boss first started out that I need more training (which there was no formal training to start with) and kept making corrections to my work. Later she started telling me that I was "green" not ready yet for the job. Then she would tell me a different time that I should improve in my job because I would not be working at a fast food restaurant. I tried to not make mistakes, but I kept being upset and stressing over my job. Another time she told me that since I was not up to standard she was going to lower my pay. I have never had that happen to me before, but I did not say anything since I was in shock. Recently she told me that she doesn't know why she has put up with me and my work and my attitude (which I don't have any idea where that is coming from, since I don't give her any attitude) and that i am a 5 year old that doesn't know anything. She doesn't know why i am in this job. I fear going to work at the office, because I don't like talking to her, because every single time she finds mistakes with my work and I feel like she is picking on me all the time. I try to improve, but every single time I feel humiliated and at loss with no words. The last time she talked to me she said she was really upset with me that she didn't even want to talk and that I shouldn't even be near her or talk to her, she told me to get away from her with a high mean tone. I didn't even have a chance to explain or at least say something on my behalf. This company has a high turn over rate, other employees feel mistreated like I do too. Some have even witnessed the way our boss treats me. What should I do? I am very unhappy with my job and I dread going to work. I don't feel comfortable talking to my boss, because every single time she insults me. Hi,
I am going through a tough time right now. I work for an education company, my boss is the owner of the company and our supervisor. My boss first started out that I need more training (which there was no formal training to start with) and kept making corrections to my work. Later she started telling me that I was “green” not ready yet for the job. Then she would tell me a different time that I should improve in my job because I would not be working at a fast food restaurant. I tried to not make mistakes, but I kept being upset and stressing over my job. Another time she told me that since I was not up to standard she was going to lower my pay. I have never had that happen to me before, but I did not say anything since I was in shock. Recently she told me that she doesn’t know why she has put up with me and my work and my attitude (which I don’t have any idea where that is coming from, since I don’t give her any attitude) and that i am a 5 year old that doesn’t know anything. She doesn’t know why i am in this job. I fear going to work at the office, because I don’t like talking to her, because every single time she finds mistakes with my work and I feel like she is picking on me all the time. I try to improve, but every single time I feel humiliated and at loss with no words. The last time she talked to me she said she was really upset with me that she didn’t even want to talk and that I shouldn’t even be near her or talk to her, she told me to get away from her with a high mean tone. I didn’t even have a chance to explain or at least say something on my behalf. This company has a high turn over rate, other employees feel mistreated like I do too. Some have even witnessed the way our boss treats me. What should I do? I am very unhappy with my job and I dread going to work. I don’t feel comfortable talking to my boss, because every single time she insults me.

]]> Comment on Your Stories by Riley http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/your-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-1011 Riley Sat, 31 Mar 2012 20:37:30 +0000 http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/?page_id=35#comment-1011 It is very sad but it is becoming the norm for companies to practice abusive behavior. They allow their leadership personnel to mistreat or single out an individual and proceed to torture the person. This is becoming a corporate model and employee's are told that the employer is not subject to the same abuse laws that the everyday person is subject to. This is not just unfair it is insane. We are all subject to the laws on the books. So, how is it that employers are able to break the "abuse" law. Thank you It is very sad but it is becoming the norm for companies to practice abusive behavior. They allow their leadership personnel to mistreat or single out an individual and proceed to torture the person. This is becoming a corporate model and employee’s are told that the employer is not subject to the same abuse laws that the everyday person is subject to. This is not just unfair it is insane. We are all subject to the laws on the books. So, how is it that employers are able to break the “abuse” law.

Thank you

]]> Comment on Your Stories by Judith http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/your-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-1001 Judith Thu, 22 Mar 2012 16:19:47 +0000 http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/?page_id=35#comment-1001 Hi Chris, It sounds like your boss has been watching too many NCIS programs with the head slapping. You didn't mention what type of industry you work in, but no matter what it is, hitting someone is unlawful. My thoughts are, find another job while you are still working. Your chances of getting a new job are better instead of quitting, and then trying to find work. If you choose to stay there, I would document everything he does, when he does it, who witnessed it, time of day and what exactly took place. By doing this you will have a record of the abuse he's been inflicting on you. Be sure to lock up your documentation if you leave it at work, or take it home with you each night. You can also go above his head to his boss with this information. When you present it to upper management, do it in a professional manner with no emotion or outbursts of anger. I wish you well. Warmly, Judith Hi Chris,
It sounds like your boss has been watching too many NCIS programs with the head slapping. You didn’t mention what type of industry you work in, but no matter what it is, hitting someone is unlawful.

My thoughts are, find another job while you are still working. Your chances of getting a new job are better instead of quitting, and then trying to find work. If you choose to stay there, I would document everything he does, when he does it, who witnessed it, time of day and what exactly took place. By doing this you will have a record of the abuse he’s been inflicting on you. Be sure to lock up your documentation if you leave it at work, or take it home with you each night. You can also go above his head to his boss with this information. When you present it to upper management, do it in a professional manner with no emotion or outbursts of anger.

I wish you well.

Warmly,
Judith

]]> Comment on Your Stories by Chris http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/your-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-999 Chris Thu, 22 Mar 2012 02:12:31 +0000 http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/?page_id=35#comment-999 My boss is sometimes very abusive. He has slapped my in the back of my head. Called me names. Makes me clean out his car. He also blames me for something somebody else did and makes me clean up their mess. I'm afraid if I say something he will hit me and fire me. What can I do. My boss is sometimes very abusive. He has slapped my in the back of my head. Called me names. Makes me clean out his car. He also blames me for something somebody else did and makes me clean up their mess. I’m afraid if I say something he will hit me and fire me. What can I do.

]]> Comment on Your Stories by Angie http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/your-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-975 Angie Wed, 29 Feb 2012 17:27:12 +0000 http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/?page_id=35#comment-975 I had been working in a City Job, PD for over 10 years, for the last three years we had a transfer of command and a new sgt & Captain of the PD came into my department. (I am a civilian) As these new supervisor came in they advised me that they heard that i received special treatment & that was going to change. These supervisors were friends with an older woman who had retired from my department who did not like me. During this time, my 730-4m-f job was taken away from me. I was put in a different area on rotating shifts mon-sun and working nights. While I was in this new area, they set me up to work with a female who didnt want to work with me in the first place and who stated she didnt. Even thought she did not know me. As time went on this female got mad at me over me not being at my desk when she was on a personal phone call because she had to get off her phone to assist an office at the window. This female co-worker curse me out about it threated to "F' me up and told me, dared me actually to say something back that i don't want to "F" with her that she is the wrong person to "F' with. and said she would slap me across my face. We had to write letters about the incident and there was an "investigation" about it. There was two other witnesses both two black females. I am not black i am mixed with two other ethnicities. and when i got to Operation of Perfestion Standards, Chiefs Offices. for the investigation. they turned it to a Racial issue, Big surprise.... and the investigation took about a year. I was also told that they were not concerned about her threats that we were there because of me supposedly saying, "YOU PEOPLE," which i never said. i was drilled for hours off tape and then taped by two investigators, about am i racist, do i hate black people, to i use the term you people over and over and over, yet i was threatened to be beat up. This hateful woman used this as an escape goat to get out of trouble. I am no longer employed with the PD kicked out if you will. My Captain, told me that he hated me & everyone hates me, I been really depressed over all of this, i feel that this has ruined my life in a sense and i dont know what to do to regain my happy spirit back. Not to mention i was pregnant at the time, almost lost my child and i feel sorry that i am not the mother that i want to be. Any advice anyone....LAWYERS, ANYONE OF FAITH ANYONE...... I had been working in a City Job, PD for over 10 years, for the last three years we had a transfer of command and a new sgt & Captain of the PD came into my department. (I am a civilian) As these new supervisor came in they advised me that they heard that i received special treatment & that was going to change. These supervisors were friends with an older woman who had retired from my department who did not like me. During this time, my 730-4m-f job was taken away from me. I was put in a different area on rotating shifts mon-sun and working nights. While I was in this new area, they set me up to work with a female who didnt want to work with me in the first place and who stated she didnt. Even thought she did not know me. As time went on this female got mad at me over me not being at my desk when she was on a personal phone call because she had to get off her phone to assist an office at the window. This female co-worker curse me out about it threated to “F’ me up and told me, dared me actually to say something back that i don’t want to “F” with her that she is the wrong person to “F’ with. and said she would slap me across my face. We had to write letters about the incident and there was an “investigation” about it. There was two other witnesses both two black females. I am not black i am mixed with two other ethnicities. and when i got to Operation of Perfestion Standards, Chiefs Offices. for the investigation. they turned it to a Racial issue, Big surprise…. and the investigation took about a year. I was also told that they were not concerned about her threats that we were there because of me supposedly saying, “YOU PEOPLE,” which i never said. i was drilled for hours off tape and then taped by two investigators, about am i racist, do i hate black people, to i use the term you people over and over and over, yet i was threatened to be beat up. This hateful woman used this as an escape goat to get out of trouble. I am no longer employed with the PD kicked out if you will. My Captain, told me that he hated me & everyone hates me, I been really depressed over all of this, i feel that this has ruined my life in a sense and i dont know what to do to regain my happy spirit back. Not to mention i was pregnant at the time, almost lost my child and i feel sorry that i am not the mother that i want to be. Any advice anyone….LAWYERS, ANYONE OF FAITH ANYONE……

]]> Comment on Your Stories by joyce http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/your-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-935 joyce Fri, 20 Jan 2012 05:01:26 +0000 http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/?page_id=35#comment-935 We had finished a surgery I announced the finish time as we always do and the anes doctor decided to tell me how he thought people around here cared more about time then caring for their patients. I stated well i don't feel that way. We went on to interview the next patient as we finished and he was waking away i asked if he was ready he be came visibly angry and stated what do you think I have been doing? I just got finished with the last pt joyce! we walked out of the pt area and he continued talking with a raised voice "WHAT DO YOU THINK I HAVE BEEN DOING ITS ONLY BEEN 10 MINUTES YOUR RUSHING" ME! I went in to the next or suite and began to set up the room along with the scrub tech. the doctor followed a few minutes later and again started to discuss how I had rushed him and that this wasn't the first time and he didn't like it, this was all in front of the scrub tech. I told him lets just drop it and that i was sorry since I didn't know what else to say I thought this may stop him, even though asking if you've finished the case and well I was at the front desk he came he apologized while passing by for being so snippy. As I was getting up to leave the desk area he came around to the opening and began to tell me that he had a lot of things to check inbetween pt to make sure his machines are safe for the next pt. I then told him all I asked was if he was ready! He said i know! I told him i would ask differently next time asking how much time you need between this case. He said fine and walked off to the locker rooms. I left that night in tears, but no tears in front of him. I was confused hurt and upset and alone. I have taken the last two days off and I am feeling stressed about going back to work, because if asking him if he is ready sets him off unexceptly what will happen next time. I was alone with him at the desk. We had finished a surgery I announced the finish time as we always do and the anes doctor decided to tell me how he thought people around here cared more about time then caring for their patients. I stated well i don’t feel that way. We went on to interview the next patient as we finished and he was waking away i asked if he was ready he be came visibly angry and stated what do you think I have been doing? I just got finished with the last pt joyce! we walked out of the pt area and he continued talking with a raised voice “WHAT DO YOU THINK I HAVE BEEN DOING ITS ONLY BEEN 10 MINUTES YOUR RUSHING” ME! I went in to the
next or suite and began to set up the room along with the scrub tech. the doctor followed a few minutes later and again started to discuss how I had rushed him and that this wasn’t the first time and he didn’t like it, this was all in front of the scrub tech. I told him lets just drop it and that i was sorry since I didn’t know what else to say I thought this may stop him, even though asking if you’ve finished the case and well I was at the front desk he came he apologized while passing by for being so snippy. As I was getting up to leave the desk area he came around to the opening and began to tell me that he had a lot of things to check inbetween pt to make sure his machines are safe for the next pt. I then told him all I asked was if he was ready! He said i know! I told him i would ask differently next time asking how much time you need between this case. He said fine and walked off to the locker rooms. I left that night in tears, but no tears in front of him. I was confused hurt and upset and alone. I have taken the last two days off and I am feeling stressed about going back to work, because if asking him if he is ready sets him off unexceptly what will happen next time. I was alone with him at the desk.

]]> Comment on Your Stories by titus http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/your-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-720 titus Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:24:14 +0000 http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/?page_id=35#comment-720 I have started to wonder about whether or not I'm experiencing verbal abuse. The situation is like this. I work for a small company and I work nights, so it is only me and one other person that is ever on the job site. Everyone else I click with fine but one guy is constantly saying I'm a liar and that I'm doing things wrong, when I know for a flact I'm doing them right. He talks bad behind my back to my super telling him unsubstantiated lies that have got me wrote up and has put me on the verge of termination. I don't know if this could be qualified as abuse or slander any advise would be fantastic thank you. I have started to wonder about whether or not I’m experiencing verbal abuse. The situation is like this. I work for a small company and I work nights, so it is only me and one other person that is ever on the job site. Everyone else I click with fine but one guy is constantly saying I’m a liar and that I’m doing things wrong, when I know for a flact I’m doing them right. He talks bad behind my back to my super telling him unsubstantiated lies that have got me wrote up and has put me on the verge of termination. I don’t know if this could be qualified as abuse or slander any advise would be fantastic thank you.

]]> Comment on Your Stories by Monique http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/your-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-187 Monique Mon, 03 Oct 2011 06:48:55 +0000 http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/?page_id=35#comment-187 I had suffered verbal abuse from a boy that I know from high school this is my story: I want to dedicate my story to all the young girls out there struggling with their self-esteem. When I was in middle school I used to get teased a lot about my face because I had really bad acne. And when I got to high school the teasing continued. There was a guy at my school who verbally abused me every chance he got. He and I took Health and PE together and sometimes he would tease me in front of the entire class. He teased me during lunch too. He had bullied me about my weight, my acne, and called me any insulting name he could think of….things like “ugly fat b**ch. One day after school he had followed me home and started verbally abusing me again. As soon as I got home I started crying. My mom came home and asked me what happened, and I told her. She told me that I needed to do something about the teasing. I decided to file a formal complain against him at my school. He got sent to the Dean’s office and was forced to apologize to me. The dean wanted to suspend him for the rest of the school year. I told the Dean that suspending he wasn’t necessary, I just wanted him to leave me alone and stop teasing me.’’ I had low self-esteem and insecurity issues about my weight. I felt that I wasn’t pretty enough and no guy would ever want to talk to a fat, ugly, girl like me. I was so surprised that a few guys even liked me in high school. I kept everything inside and never showed my emotions to my friends or anyone. Being depressed, I would come home and cry myself to sleep a lot. Even though he did finally leave me alone, it didn’t change the fact that he had really hurt me emotionally and mentally. Because of the things he said, I felt he had taken away all my self-respect, dignity, and my pride. Whenever a guy gave me a compliment I wasn’t sure if he really meant it or if he was just saying it as a joke. It took me up to my senior year of high school to get my self-esteem back after what he did to me. As I got older, I have learned that whenever a person teases another person, it’s because they don’t like themselves so they are trying to feel better by bring someone else down. What they don’t realize is that they are hurting themselves more than they are hurting another person’s feelings. I have learned that I can’t please everyone and I have to please myself. My mom and sister had always told me that I was not ugly. They told me that I was a pretty girl, to just be who I am, and always keep GOD in my heart. Now that I am older I finally realized what they were telling me is true. I have forgiven him for what he did to me in high school. I finally realize that I am a beautiful woman inside and out. I am strong and I accept myself for who I am. I have put the past behind me and I am moving on with my life. If you’re a younger girl reading this, here is my advice to you. Always love yourself, just be who you are, always keep GOD in your heart and never let anyone take your self respect away from you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I had suffered verbal abuse from a boy that I know from high school this is my story:
I want to dedicate my story to all the young girls out there struggling with their self-esteem.

When I was in middle school I used to get teased a lot about my face because I had really bad acne. And when I got to high school the teasing continued. There was a guy at my school who verbally abused me every chance he got. He and I took Health and PE together and sometimes he would tease me in front of the entire class. He teased me during lunch too. He had bullied me about my weight, my acne, and called me any insulting name he could think of….things like “ugly fat b**ch.

One day after school he had followed me home and started verbally abusing me again. As soon as I got home I started crying. My mom came home and asked me what happened, and I told her. She told me that I needed to do something about the teasing.

I decided to file a formal complain against him at my school. He got sent to the Dean’s office and was forced to apologize to me. The dean wanted to suspend him for the rest of the school year. I told the Dean that suspending he wasn’t necessary, I just wanted him to leave me alone and stop teasing me.’’

I had low self-esteem and insecurity issues about my weight. I felt that I wasn’t pretty enough and no guy would ever want to talk to a fat, ugly, girl like me. I was so surprised that a few guys even liked me in high school. I kept everything inside and never showed my emotions to my friends or anyone. Being depressed, I would come home and cry myself to sleep a lot.

Even though he did finally leave me alone, it didn’t change the fact that he had really hurt me emotionally and mentally. Because of the things he said, I felt he had taken away all my self-respect, dignity, and my pride. Whenever a guy gave me a compliment I wasn’t sure if he really meant it or if he was just saying it as a joke. It took me up to my senior year of high school to get my self-esteem back after what he did to me.

As I got older, I have learned that whenever a person teases another person, it’s because they don’t like themselves so they are trying to feel better by bring someone else down. What they don’t realize is that they are hurting themselves more than they are hurting another person’s feelings. I have learned that I can’t please everyone and I have to please myself.

My mom and sister had always told me that I was not ugly. They told me that I was a pretty girl, to just be who I am, and always keep GOD in my heart. Now that I am older I finally realized what they were telling me is true. I have forgiven him for what he did to me in high school. I finally realize that I am a beautiful woman inside and out. I am strong and I accept myself for who I am. I have put the past behind me and I am moving on with my life.

If you’re a younger girl reading this, here is my advice to you. Always love yourself, just be who you are, always keep GOD in your heart and never let anyone take your self respect away from you.

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]]> Comment on Your Stories by Judith http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/your-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-166 Judith Sun, 04 Sep 2011 19:40:25 +0000 http://workplaceverbalabuse.com/?page_id=35#comment-166 Hi Paula, No one is indispensable, even if you think he's the only one who can make your business thrive. My suggestion is simple: Confront him and tell him his behavior is unacceptable and if it continues he'll be terminated. Keep in mind that even though workplace bullying is not illegal, sexual harassment is and he could be charged. Warmly, Judith Hi Paula,
No one is indispensable, even if you think he’s the only one who can make your business thrive.

My suggestion is simple: Confront him and tell him his behavior is unacceptable and if it continues he’ll be terminated. Keep in mind that even though workplace bullying is not illegal, sexual harassment is and he could be charged.

Warmly,
Judith

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